PJ Scribbans Author

A Tale of Nervousness and Unexpected Free Time:

After years of blood, sweat, and too many late nights and cups of coffee, the day finally came. I clicked ‘send’, and just like that, my novel – my beloved, slightly bruised child – was out of my hands and in the hands of my beta readers. These are the good people who have given up their spare time to pour through the many pages of text I’ve created. What could go wrong, right?

The Nerve-Wracking Moment of Hitting ‘Send’

The anxiety hit almost instantly. It’s like sending your child off to their first day of school. My novel is out there, naked on the page, waiting for someone to either tear it apart or – fingers crossed – maybe even like it. The fear is real. What if they find glaring plot holes? What if my characters fall flat or my dialogue is as stiff as a child’s school play?

This isn’t just a piece of writing; it’s ‘my’ writing, my creative labour. The nervousness is overwhelming, but at the same time, it’s an important step. They’re there to help, even if it doesn’t feel particularly comforting in the moment.

There was one thing I insisted on with my beta readers – an honest critique. For some of you reading this blog, that might seem like an obvious statement, but it’s one I cemented by adding this paragraph to a letter I attached to the manuscript the day I sent it off:

I want to emphasise the importance of your honesty and openness as you read my work. If something isn’t working, please don’t hesitate to note it down. If you come across parts that you believe are dreadful, feel free to express your thoughts. If you feel that my novel belongs in the rubbish bin, please let me know.

Don’t get me wrong, my beta readers are experienced in the beta reading game, and have already fed back some issues in my story. But I felt better that I let them know that any feedback – good or bad – is fine with me. Without this, how can you grow as a writer, and how can I do justice to the narrative I’ve spent a good deal of time creating?

Free Time? What’s That Again?

But here’s where things took a surprising turn: after hitting ‘send’, I realised I suddenly had all this free time. No more late nights agonizing over sentence structure, no more weekends spent reworking the same chapter or sentence. All that energy I used to pour into editing is now free to roam – and I honestly didn’t know what to do with myself at first.

Now, instead of spending every spare minute tied to my manuscript, I’m rediscovering the joys of doing absolutely nothing. There’s a pile of books I’ve been “meaning to read” for about as long as I’ve been writing mine, and I’m finally getting to them. I’ve even heard rumours that people do things like take walks or watching something called Netflix. It’s a strange sensation, but I think I could get used to it – for now at least.

The spare time has had a not unexpected effect – lots and lots of ideas for new stories, which I’m busy noting down and plotting basic structures.

Feedback? Not Yet, Please!

Of course, as relaxing as this free time is, I know it’s only temporary. Sooner or later, the feedback will come rolling in. My beta readers will start sending their thoughts, suggestions, and possibly some bewildered questions like, “Did you really mean for that character to be so unlikeable?”, or “that character isn’t required at all.” – yes this was one valid piece of feedback I’ve already received, and the beta reader was 100% correct. My fault, of course, because I misinterpreted the hierarchical structure in a medieval monitory. Luckily, it’s easily fixed as it isn’t an important character.

I have decided not to edit anything until I receive all the feedback. I am keeping an eye on the electronic feedback using Google docs but I am not taking any action yet. I am only clarifying a few points while the comments are fresh in the beta readers’ minds.

I know myself too well. If I start making edits based on one reader’s comments before hearing from the others, I’ll be trapped in a never-ending cycle of rewrites. It’ll be a rabbit hole I’ll never escape from. So, for now, I’m resisting the urge to fix anything – no micro-edits, no changes – until I have the full picture of what worked and what didn’t.

Why I Won’t Use Family or Friends as Beta Readers

Asking family and friend to beta reader might seem like the ‘go to’ option, however my golden rule is to never do this. Why? After all, they’re supportive, readily available, and probably wouldn’t tear my work to shreds, right? Well, that’s exactly the problem. Family and friends are biased in all the wrong ways. They’ll either be too nice, trying to spare my feelings, or they’ll overcompensate, nitpicking details like the character names or a subplot that’s only mentioned once.

I don’t want awkward conversations at future gatherings where a family member brings up the scene that didn’t work for them. I need objective beta readers who will tell me when something doesn’t make sense and give honest feedback without worrying about our next catch-up. This way, I can get a helpful critique for my novel without risking any family dinner tension.

There is another important factor to consider: people and relationships are complex. When you involve family or friends as beta readers, there is a risk that they might intentionally give you incorrect feedback, whether positive or negative. This could happen because they hold grudges or because giving you honest positive feedback conflicts with their competitive nature. They might not want to see you succeed if it means surpassing them in social standing. It is possible that a family member or friend secretly hopes for your failure, although I personally believe this would be rare in my circle. Nevertheless, it is something worth considering when selecting your beta readers.

The Calm Before the (Feedback) Storm

Currently, I am enjoying a brief period of freedom. It feels peaceful, like the calm before a storm. Soon, I will be back at my desk with red pens and coffee cups surrounding me. But for now, I am relishing in the tranquillity. I am catching up on books, improving my archery stance, increasing my trail running mileage, embarking on new hiking adventures, and updating my YouTube channel and this website.

I am also spreading the word about my upcoming novel. These activities inspire me, fuel my creativity, and shape who I am. I am even taking some time to relax. As I write this, I am sitting by a pool on holiday in Tenerife. However, I am aware that the editing process will soon begin, and I will be thrown back into the chaos. But until then, I am grateful for this unexpected free time, albeit with a hint of nervous anticipation for what lies ahead.

Something to add to your reading list?

Do you enjoy historical fiction with a twist of romance and fantasy? Are you fascinated by medieval England? Do you love the English Lake District, which inspired great authors like William Wordsworth, Samuel Coleridge, and Beatrix Potter? If so, you might be interested in my dark historical fantasy. It blends passion, loss, and duty in a mysterious tale. A girl with amnesia is found by a monk who believes she hides a deeper truth. Manipulation, lies, and fate intertwine, affecting both the past and the future.

If this sounds like a story you would enjoy, or perhaps someone you know, then please subscribe (see top right of home page) for updates and previews of this upcoming novel.

All the best,

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